Word 2: Ambitious

I am never an ambitious person. If you know me, I am a very flexible person. I don’t even make you listen to my opinions or views on things. I am just a happy me and enjoy myself of being me. But this is not “ambitious.”

Ambitious, to me, describes one who knows his/her goal and is dedicated to achieve it. The goals may be fame, power, rank, according to Webster.

Honestly, if you told me that you think I was an ambitious person, I wouldn’t take it as a compliment. Though I know it’s commendatory, I somehow recognized it derogatory.

When I hear ambitious, I think of the emperors of the old dynasties. No matter how hard they had fought for their kingdoms, the modern age has long taken over their reign. The kings and queens now are just royalties in their countries and have no specific political power under the constitutional monarchy. The royalties, though with little power, still enjoy the fame, rank. Do they have the ambition to take back what used to belong to them, such as the power to govern?

Now everywhere promotes democracy. If the king or queen had the power to govern, would they grant peasants freedom and rights? In the feudalistic society, they didn’t have to or they didn’t even need to think of it. But now, they have to. But what they have now is just royal and what suit them the best. They are rich (The recent royal wedding of William and Kate cost an estimate of six figure, according to ABC). They have priorities. They are the royal who represent the nation.

Ambition, to me, is to gain power as well. I am a little happy person who enjoy and love what I have. I am not an overachiever, not even an achiever probably.

Having just said that, I now feel like a loser for the fact that I am not ambitious.

I have goals! Is there a way to achieve without being ambitious? I don’t think I can, indeed. Recently, I just realized how laid back I have spent this semester. So now I feel like I am failing most of the classes. Everything is so complicated in this semester, including my life and school works. Life style was new to me this semester, especially all by myself.

Life is a little different for me now. The one I loved left me. I am all alone. But I’ve become a bit ambitious about my future, my own future. I want to stay in U.S. after graduation in 2012 with a job. Then hopefully I can work with a firm that will support me to stay here and work.

Sometimes, I feel home here. It’s actually weird. My home is in China, where all my family and most of my friends are. I stay in U.S. most of the year and only go back to China for two to three months for summer vacation.

Last summer, I still cried when I said goodbye to my parents in Hong Kong International Airport and got on the flight to Chicago. When I walked out of the terminal, I said “I am finally home.” Another case was that I looked out the window while I sat in the back of the bus, looking at the flatness of Illinois and I suddenly feel so attached to America. It was when I decided I want to stay here for my life and will do try my best to stay here.

Speaking of this, I am now ambitious. I am no longer a little girl depending on my parents. I need to make money. I need to have my career. I need to have a life.

But first of all, I need my degree from University of Illinois Urbana Champaign.

In conclusion, I need to be ambitious!!!

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