To be honest, I am actually a jealous person. But I never confront the jealous side of me. I am jealous because I think I could have done better. Or I am jealous because I know I am better… This doesn’t sound very logical actually.
Recently, I am jealous of those people who have friends. It’s actually pathetic to admit this. Seriously, I don’t have friends here. Oh wow… I can’t believe I am really saying this.
I have serval very very close friends. Unfortunately, they are ALL far away from me. I just don’t have anyone. If I seriously need to talk, I probably can reach them by phone, or Skype. But not really like friends in town, just drop by. It’s not happening. I know that. This makes me very sad actually, realizing I seriously don’t have anyone around whom I can turn to.
I can be emotional, like now.
I am just jealous who the ones who have someone to turn to. I have those close friends. But they are far away, very far away.
Can a rational person be jealous, too? I think so.
I think I need a break and get on a trip on my own and settle down my mind. It’s absolutely Chaotic.
But school just started. I am such a coward.