4 lessons learned in relationship

Well, I am not a relationship expert. But many of my friends are involved in all these typical relationship with their halves. From time to time, my friends get into quarrels, break up (but eventually they get back together), or move on to the next stage.

Here are four things you shall know about being in a relationship:

1. Always love yourself more than your partner.

Everybody’s selfish. So please let the selfishness continue in your relationship. Being selfish in a relationship does not mean to take advantage of your partner. It means to protect yourself. This is especially important when your relationship comes to a turning point, breaking up or a more serious stage. Thinking about yourself in the relationship instead of a together-image is a good start to protect yourself. Relationship, frankly, besides affection, is the mutual interest between you two. When this mutual interest starts to fade, then you need to start thinking about yourself, such as would you get hurt (hopeful just emotionally, not physically or financially) from this relationship.

Or when he/she breaks up with you, don’t make any excuses for him/her, let them go. It’s their fault of breaking up with you. No excuses accepted. For real, it’s their fault. Someday, they will learn that it was their fault.

2. Know what you want. If you don’t, think!

Establishing a relationship will ruin many things in your life. Well, maybe I shouldn’t use the word ruin. Ruin is a bit too serious. It will changes your life style, in another word. Indeed, relationship is serious. It brings changes to you, and your friends. If the change(s) isn’t what you want, please think twice before you start this relationship.

Same situation in all the break-ups, one or another tends to ask, “So, what do you want?” Then the other would say, “I don’t know.”

Oh dear, you better know what you want. Not knowing what you want for yourself is very horrified. It’s like getting lost in a desert, then the next thing you realize is you may starve to death.

Think! Do you want to continue this relationship? Do you still like him/her? Do you two share a goal? etc., etc.

3. Once decision made, it’s made. (No Caprice!)

Yes, make up your mind and stick with it. I’ve heard too many say “I wouldn’t have done this if I could choose again.” Well, why weren’t you consistent with your decision then? There’s nobody to take the blame but you. You totally deserve the whole situation now.

Relationship, in some sense, could be compared with business. It’s an art of management. In terms of management, decisions are often need to be made. It depends on the situation; compromising could be an option in some cases and alternations and adjustment could be made.

Sometimes, you just need to move on with your decision. Don’t look back. It’s not worth it.
If it’s yours, it’s yours.
If it’s not yours, it just WON’T be yours.

4. Make the effort now. Don’t wait.

Some people are active and outgoing and like to speak first. In the early stage of relationship, frictions are very common because it’s a joint of two different life. if you have arguments, please discuss about it soon. This not only applies to relationship but also to the benefit friendship. Seriously! You will want to talk about it and make it clear and then settle it. It’s more like making an agreement.

For dating, making these agreements is to move on further. Yet, you learn more about your partner in this agreement.
For beneficial friendship, it’s better to clarify the situation. If you start having feelings for him/her, it’s time to make some changes or stop seeing each other. If this relationship got messy, you would end up very pathetic.

Communication is a must in all relationship. Sooner is better than later.



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